Editing & Writing Samples

Reminiscent of The Martian, this short story follows a young man born into an astronaut crew stranded on Mars. Although his family hopes for an unlikely rescue, the Martian native struggles knowing he could lose everything he loves if he ever makes it to Earth. Philip’s story was already very engaging, so I primarily focused on copyediting the manuscript but mixed in a little line and developmental editing. This flexible combination of edits allowed him to solidify a few character moments and themes and streamline his revision process. After revising, Philip submitted his story to the Writers of the Future contest and won an honorable mention!

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Find the final version here.

Lamil traumatically loses his best friend Baleth to a necromancer terrorizing the countryside. But when Baleth's wife, Sellah, Lamil's other best friend, decides to go retrieve the body, Lamil won't let his fears keep him from helping and protecting Sellah as much as he can—but he may need to overcome some prejudices along the way.

My substantive edit included a light copyedit, so you'll see this sample address some grammar and usage issues, especially dialogue punctuation mechanics. Overall, the substantive editing in this sample really exemplifies how sentences and paragraphs might be restructured to improve flow, pacing, and emotional impact.

Kiss and Dwell follows a professional celebrity photographer who always remembers her first kiss as one of the most disappointing moments of her life. After an embarrassing high school reunion, she’s brought back into the life of her famous, one-time best friend as he announces his quest to find his dream girl.

Soquel’s delightful prose in her romantic comedy made it clear that she’s a writer with a strong grasp of usage rules. Thus, I tailored my copyedit to more closely adhere to rules outlined in The Chicago Manual of Style, but I also pointed out each instance where I felt such edits could come across as too formal or stilted for readers. Ultimately, I believe this edit gave Soquel the balance she wanted of a clean manuscript that her readers could enjoy without effort.

Allister Banks is an alligator—and a disgraced relic hunter . . .
But he's got one last chance to make things right. The race has begun for the Ruby Blade—an ancient sword rumored to grant its possessor unfathomable power. And Allister’s only hope to fix his troubled past is to recover it before his ruthless competitors do.

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This book was already incredibly well written and polished when he hired my to copyedit it. Still, he was impressed with how much I was able to do with his manuscript because of my painstaking attention to detail. I not only caught typos and added important consistency but I smoothed out a few passages of overly expository dialogue.

Theo Thwaite has the ability to stop time for everyone but himself. When he wanders through a portal into a fantastical world, he accidentally separates himself from his sister Chloe and has to navigate a foreign, magical culture to survive and get back to her.

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Chris self-published this young adult fantasy novel years ago but struggled to find readers. He turned to me to find out why that might be the case, and my manuscript evaluation gave him the answers he was looking for. Although he had an incredibly imaginative world and charming friendships between his characters, the plot had no meaningful structure, the worldbuilding was underexplained, the main character’s arc was superficial, the themes were buried, and the author was targeting the wrong audience. I outlined the reasons for all these issues and gave Chris a plan for how he could realistically revise, encouraging him to uncover the fantastic story that I saw the potential for in his work.

One change in Mr. Collins' past can make him a very different character than Jane Austen penned. Perhaps he could even become a trusted brother to the Bennet sisters!

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The author already had a largely positive response from her beta readers for her first draft of The Sins of Their Fathers, so she felt confident that she didn't need an in-depth developmental edit. As I evaluated her Pride and Prejudice retelling, I focused on developing the structure of the plot; character arcs of the main protagonists; pacing, point of views, and description; tone, tropes, and themes; and consistency and historical accuracy.

Lamil traumatically loses his best friend Baleth to a necromancer terrorizing the countryside. But when Baleth's wife, Sellah, Lamil's other best friend, decides to go retrieve the body, Lamil won't let his fears keep him from helping and protecting Sellah as much as he can—but he may need to overcome some prejudices along the way.

The author originally requested substantive edits for this short story, but I'm glad he agreed to a developmental edit first, because his story grew stronger for it. I addressed various plot holes, underdeveloped aspects of the characters, and buried themes. I also gave suggestions for fleshing out the worldbuilding and preventing reader confusion at key points in the story.

This hilarious clean romance is set at BYU, where a young woman feels doomed to always be the last girlfriend before her dream guy finds his "true love" over and over. When a snarky, cocky young man starts pursuing her, she figures the sooner she dates him, the sooner he'll move on to find his "true love." Her plan works just fine—until she realizes maybe he is her dream guy after all.

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My developmental edits both in the editorial letter and in the comments throughout the manuscript focused on fully developing the themes of the story and fixing pacing and structural issues. My in-line substantive edits reworded awkward phrasing and helped the narration and dialogue flow while maintaining the overall humorous tone of the story.